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Current Mood: melancholy, eh
Listening To: Omna Magni-Yui Makino
After reading a friend's post, I've starting thinking about my very first best friend. Her name was Mesa, and we were pretty close. I mean, even though we lived a few blocks from each other, we often times wrote letters to each other. Just to do it! We used to have inside jokes and all. Hell, my mom had no problem letting me stay out late with her, simply because back then, she knew who my best friend was. But now... I don't even know how Mesa is doing right now. I don't know where she lives or anything about her. I guess time seperated us, because we knew each other since pre-school all the way since middle school. Hell, we even made plans to go to the same high school together. We had all sorts of things planned out, but somewhere in our 7th grade year, we had a fallout and she just stopped talking to me. I would try to, you know, reconnect with her, but it like some sort of wall just popped up and cut me out. I kept trying, but everyone in my family told me to just quit. They told me that when friends start treating you like a nobody and start ignoring you, that they aren't worth the effort. They told me to stop before I got cut. But did I listen? No. I kept trying and trying, until finally it got through to me. Mesa wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't understand why, and my cousin Gary told me not to ask why. He and his sister told me that it's better not to know why friendships end, and to just let it die. For once, I listened to my family. And from my 7th grade year, I've kinda been a loner. And when people tried being my "friends", it was always the same reason: "You looked like a loner and I/we thought you needed a/some friend/s." But I think I was dead on the inside then, and whenever I looked at Mesa-it wasn't hard considering we had the same classes-I felt pain. So I spent my 7th grade year buliding up walls.   
But now, I've got my Cupcake. She's probably the best thing that's happened to me, because she's breaking down the walls I put up. And I love her for it. So the next chance I get, when I see her, I'm gonna give her a hug and try not to cry. "When I said I needed you, you said you'd always stay. When I said I loved you, you just walked away. Casting me aways from your sweet innocent world."-Yayoi (I wrote this in middle school, and just remembered it, lol.) |
